I received a letter in the mail that explained to me I had been pre-approved for a credit card. I called the service number, read off the confirmation codes to the man on the other end of the line and he asked me if I understood the terms and conditions of the card. I told him I did not and asked him to explain. He told me he'd do his best. He detailed the following fees

6 dollar monthly something fee

29.95 dollar one time something fee

99.95 dollar one time something fee

These fees would be conglomerated, he explained, and will appear on my first bill, lowering my available credit until they are paid off. I explained I was all set and I hung up the phone, failing to explain to him our interaction had reconfirmed my belief that creditors and employees of credit card companies should be dragged behind a run-down Seven-Eleven somewhere and shot in their fucking faces.