"Depite Clinton's optimism, pan-wad unity is considered unlikely in the near future. Numerous wad factions, including the dickwad, dipwad, jerkwad and fuckwad groups, refused to participate in the wad accord. One fringe faction, a militant dickwad splinter group known as the 'dickweeds,' issued a formal statement decrying the treaty as 'dork city' and 'totally gay.'"

-"Gaywads, Dorkwads Sign Historic Wad Accord," The Onion, 11 February 1999