I haven't written a serious essay here for over six months.

Six months. The last time I wrote an essay on this server, I was still working at the mall. I was, at that point, making more money, working less hours and enjoying an easy, yet relatively mindless, lifestyle.

Occasionally, members of a bible study-group visited the cart at which I worked and talked to me about Jesus. I'd usually throw them off slightly because while, no, I am not particularly interested in what your lord has to offer me, yes, I do know a thing or two about Christ. By those in his fan club it is often assumed that to know Jesus is to to love Jesus. I feel as though I know Jesus as much as I know Kennedy. I've read much about both of them. In fact, I believe I now know more about Christ than I do Kennedy. While I admire both men, my admiration should not be confused for love.

I explained all of this to Kitty, who regularly offered me eternal life in Christ. For a week, her beauty left me hesitant to tell her I was uninterested until I realized after six days of joint prayers, she wouldn't go away without proper motivation. I am not interested, Kitty, I advised. Are you sure? I am not interested, Kitty. Do you want to... I am not interested, Kitty.

One morning, while enjoying three quarters of a pound of chocolate covered espresso beans I got for a discount price from the girls who work at the candy store next to the cart for breakfast, Kitty asked, Have you ever seen Stargate? Not the television show, she specified. The movie. This was the first non-Jesus conversation I had with Kitty.

She loved the movie, she informed. James Spader's character was pretty funny, especially for James Spader.

Remember RA? I saw an interview with the actor who portrayed him in the movie, Jaye Davidson, and without any previous acting experience, he was paid a million dollars for the role. Can you believe that movie came out nine years ago?

As hard as I tried, I couldn't figure out where Jesus would be woven into this conversation but I couldn't be more positive about that crown of thorns popping up at some point.

Did you know French Stewart was in that movie? He played Harry on the show Third Rock From the Sun.

No Jesus. Harry from Third Rock From the Sun, James Spader and Stargate, but no Jesus.

Third Rock From the Sun was funny too. I had this book about the show...

That was it. The entire conversation included nothing about Jesus. Nothing.

We talked about more television shows and movies. There wasn't much to talk about by way of music as I never had much use for Creed, DC Talk or Jars of Clay and she seemed to want little to do with punk music or country. She, though, seemed more open to various types of music than I was.

And no Jesus.

It didn't feel right. Why was Kitty not mentioning Jesus? This wasn't fair to Jesus. Was he feeling as suspicious as I was about the fact Kitty and I, after work that night, sat in her car until sunrise, discussing popular culture? Was Jesus upset about the fact I used his name in vain when I woke up after nodding off to sleep, sitting in her passenger seat, trying to recall the name of the actor (Jack Noseworthy) who was featured in that early 90's MTV television show "Dead at 21." Was he furious that, after I brought him up because I insisted in my head it wasn't right for her to go so long without envoking his presence, I faked an admiration for Christ which, annotating a long story, led to my fucking Kitty Jesus Freak in the back seat of her fathers Buick Skylark?

When my boss heard about this, he jokingly asked, "I heard there's eternity in the love of Christ?" to which I obviously responded, "Sure. That and an unexpected burst of cum down your throat because I don't respect you enough to hear you out on your, "sure, I'll suck your cock but tell me when you're going to cum, ok?" request.